How An Impounded Car Helped Me Find Fame, Fortune and Love

So let me tell you my absolutely true story of how the right car insurance helped me gain fame, fortune and the love of my life, all because I purchased a top-hole  insurance plan at the exact right moment in time — give or take a few seconds, if you want to be technical about it.

First of all, let me start off by saying that I raise wombats. Not your silly, common garden variety wombats — those are a dime a dozen — but really high quality, well-bred wombats, the type you can take on the train with you when you visit the mater on Sundays.

You might ask yourself — although you’d do better if you asked me instead — just what use are wombats? That’s where I’d answer you, well, what use are dogs and cats? I mean, what use is Michael Parkinson, when you come to think of it? Wombats have their place in society, too.

At any rate, I was taking Ethelred, my prize wombat, down to the country with me on the train one Sunday - my car was in a police pound, because I hadn't paid for car insurance - to check out some high-grade furze, when I opened the door of his hatch so that he could enjoy the view. That’s when he became a little unnecessarily fascinated with the woman sitting next to us.

It would have all been all right in the end, of course, if she hadn’t had a handbag; it wasn’t Ethelred’s fault that she had to carry one. I mean, why do women carry such large handbags? Well, he didn’t know what it was, probably thought it was some kind of a nest. Come to think of it, it rather looked like a nest, and I suppose that’s why he dived right in.

She didn’t have to scream so loud. It’s not as if Ethelred looked anything like a snake; he’s actually quite cute and cuddly, if you don’t notice his teeth. Even then, he has a few missing, so she shouldn’t have reacted so strongly.

“Madam,” I called out above the din, “Wombats are herbivores; besides, Ethelred has already had his Sunday dinner, and he knows he’s on a strict diet.” You have to be firm with some people.

Of course, she paid no attention — and the upshot of it all was that she frightened poor Ethelred; I’m afraid he went a bit off his head. He jumped out of the handbag, landed on her hair — which really did look like a nest — and made rather a mess of it. I imagine it would have been rather painful, except for the fact that it was all a wig; luckily, it stayed on until right before he jumped off.

That didn’t keep her from taking me to court. Thanks to my top-notch business insurance, not only were my court costs taken care of, but I also got off with a warning, because my insurance helped me pay for a first-rate solicitor as well.

After the story came out in the press, suddenly everyone wanted a wombat to give as a gift. Since I’m the only wombat seller in this part of England, I made a fortune.

Did I mention that I also met the love of my life? Well, another wombat fancier contacted me because she wanted her lady wombat to meet Ethelred. So it turns out that Ethelred and I both found the love of our lives — and all because of the right business insurance.

It does make you wonder a bit about the scheme of things, doesn’t it? On a different subject - has your car been impounded? Need impounded car insurance?


Copyright Graham Fullers 2009 All Rights Reserved